As I sit here reading the Blog,
I become confused.
So many sorrowful thoughts pass
through my mind.
As I ponder my thoughts,
I begin to realize how similar
Ada and Tyesha really are.
I feel as if a part of myself is Ada.
As though, being involved in her life, has
made me recognize and discover new parts of who
I really am.
Like Ada,
many people have misconceptions of who I am.
They judge from the outside that I am 'crazy',
'quiet', 'self concious' or 'shy'...whether those
things be true or not...it makes no difference.
For those misconceptions have begun to be a reality for me.
It's as if I can read the minds of those around me. Their
faces tell me all I need to know...
I began to focus on these certain aspects of myself
because those were the only things other people saw,
and became the only things I cared about.
I transformed into someone else...
Someone I thought I wasn't, that I never knew existed.
Funny, isn't it?
People are sometimes so focused on what others think
about them...that it changes who they are,
sometimes changes them into what they never wanted to be.
By the time they realize they have changed...the habit
becomes nearly impossible to break. Only when they take a
step back for a while, refuse to walk forwards until they can
succeed, can they again take control and move on.
Ignored? I am.
Invisible? To Most.
But just because you don't see me, hear me, or care about my
thoughts, doesn't mean that I'm not here.
I won't let this become a reality...because if I did,
I wouldn't be Me anymore.
In fact, I wouldn't even exist...
Would I?
oh my gosh tyesha.. that was like really good. awww :(
ReplyDeletelike this made me really sad. your not invisible
ReplyDeleteThis made me wanna run and give you a hug and show you that you aren't invisible and that i love having you in class. ...aww this was really good.
ReplyDeleteOkay... Here is a thought. Sometimes who we are is based on what we surround ourselves with. In that way every single person is a liquid ready to be poured into a mold. For example. If a kid knows you from another school, what do they know of you. Some know you play sports if you play against them. Some know that you are kind if you have met them on the street and are nice. But do people really know who you are? The difference between you and Adah is that Tyesha isn't lying to herself. You may adapt and bend under the pressuring eyes of others but you know who you are, unlike Adah who was unable to see herself as anything but the crooked little person she was acting as. Tyesha knows better. and the truth is. Who people see you are doesn't matter, the only PERSON it should matter to is God. Because he can see through you, so you don't even have to worry. Tyesha, your beautiful, wonderful, and quite a mystery to us all, but Adah is cynical, a liar, and someone who who is bent and crooked from the weight of others beliefs. You are not that.
ReplyDeletehahaha...thanks. =)
ReplyDeleteJust so everyone is informed, I didn't write this in order to get pity or anything. Hope that doesn't sound rude.
I just adore writing and this was a time I just went through. So thankfully, like Brianna said, I do know who I am. haha...My identity through Christ. <3
It's true, it's rare for people to really know who someone else is...unless they are your 'best friend'.
Thank you Bri (hope that's how you spell it. hahaha.. lol) for reals. The differences certainly outweigh the similarities if you look at the big picture, huh? lol
You're a really good writer..are you going to pursue that someday??
ReplyDelete